like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
