Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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