Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
