whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
