I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
