1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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