I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Pooping to opera.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
