I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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