your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
