Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
