help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
