I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize