These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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