Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
