I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
