I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
