Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sponge bath it is.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
