Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
