The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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