No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
