I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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