she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You brought string cheese to the strip club
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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