One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
