I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
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