I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
