4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
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