I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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