why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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