YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
