what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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