My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize