I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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