Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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