i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
