On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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