To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
