sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
