I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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