Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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