i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
