In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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