I wanna bring you to show and tell
we made out on top of his cat.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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