she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
