First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
