No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
