So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I need a beard to bite.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
