You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
