i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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