I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize