Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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