I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
