She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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