david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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