I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
