I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
