I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
