you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
found the other keg... it's in the tree
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
