Me. At least after what I've been through.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
