i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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