My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
