It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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