I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
