All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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